This post was published long before the Mists of Pandara Expansion.
The tips and techniques explained here may be outdated.

How to be a bad Warlock

Fiancee got a group together to run Heroic Botanica. We were Gongniu (Warrior Tank), Tatia (Pally Healer), Fynriss (BM Hunter) and Sibiy (BM Hunter). No one else was on.. so we jumped into LFG and eventually got a whisper from a warlock named Snotspit, I kid you not. The guildies were in Ventrillo.. the warlock was only on party chat.

Now keep in mind that at 70 I’ve never grouped with a warlock. The only guild warlock -just- hit 70 this morning (WTG Underrated). So I didn’t know exactly what to expect. My highest warlock’s only level 44.

We toddled off to the instance. Snotspit showed up flagged for PVP. I asked him to unflag and then we started to pull. Eventually his flag wore off.. but not until after I’d gotten sympathetically flagged from healing him *sigh*. Just inside the door Snotspit put a soulstone on me (one point for him). As we killed things I noticed that he was throwing a lot of Shadowbolts. Gongniu commented that he must be Destruction spec. A quick “inspect” actually showed he was deep Affliction spec.. and had a horrendous amount of +crit armor. (+crit is useless for affliction spec as there are nearly no affliction spells that can crit). We chatted about this in Ventrillo but figured as long as we weren’t doing too bad.. it was ok. Cue ominous music.

We went on through the instance.. and eventually on a bad pull I died.. I used my soulstone and came back with only a smidge of life/mana. I had really expected to have more life/mana.. especially since I’d rez’d before the end of the fight hoping to save the day with my healing.. instead I found that I was mostly useless.. and died again without being able to throw a single decent heal.

As we were flying back I commented on party that I’d rezz’d with very little health/mana.. and that I was expecting a lot more. Snotspit said he didn’t know anything about that. I was puzzled.. but let it drop. As I said, I’ve never grouped with a warlock to have any comparison.

Just after we entered the instance Snotspit created a new soulstone.
“Snotspit creates minor soulstone.”

I stopped for a minute, gaped at this.. and mentioned it on Ventrillo. My warlock is very low.. but others have warlocks.. They agreed that it was very weird.

So I typed in party “Snotspit, just to be clear, you’re giving me minor soulstone instead of greater soulstone because …” and waited.

Eventually Snotspit typed back “because I don’t know how to give you greater soulstone.” My world reeled. Here we were.. at the end game.. grouped with a clueless warlock. I could not figure out how he’d made it to 70.

Laughingly Gongniu typed out “Where did you buy your account?” Snotspit replied “2k on Ebay”. OMG. I thought these people were myths.

I really hope he was telling the truth.. because he was bad.. and I don’t mean a little bad.. I mean well and truly I-have-no-idea-what-my-class-can-do bad. He didn’t know his class. he had no idea on the strengths of the affliction spec… he threw NOTHING but shadow bolts.. and would be out-of-mana 3/4 of the way through a fight. His pet imp died on EVERY-SINGLE-PULL! He died on every-single-boss except the last one. It was just.. bad.

I don’t understand buying an account. Well ok, I do kind of understand.. if you buy into the idea that “leveling is boring and I shouldn’t have to do it to get to the ‘fun stuff’ at endgame” then I guess buying a toons makes some sense. But still.. who spends 2k on a toon and does no research.. Just being 70 doesn’t make you uber.. it just gives you the tools.. if you’re not familiar with -all- the tools then you fail.

We did complete the run successfully. He was at the bottom of the damage meter. He did not go on my friends list.. he did get karma points deducted.. and got a long note in Karma so I don’t accidentally group with him again. Someday I hope to be a much better warlock.

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6 comments to How to be a bad Warlock

  • Nibuca

    NO FAIR!

    Knights of the Night (A guild on Garona) posted -something- about this entry. I know because I can see the incoming links. I wanna know what was said. It’s just so unfair.. I even created an account on their guild forum.. but I guess I don’t have privileges to view the post.

    Patently unfair! GRR I wanna see what’s said.. I -love- ego stroking.. or even ego -bashing-. It’s all about ME!

  • Oh.My.God. They really DO exist! /cry

    You have my deepest sympathies, Nibuca. But don’t you think just typing his name in Karma would have been sufficient? ;)

  • And ROFLMAO at your comment that made it in just before mine.

    /strokes Nibuca’s ego. There…feel better? :D

  • I’ve never met any of those account buyers at least not obviously I would say.

    Shakes head at bad Warlock or Noob lvl 70 Warlock in that instance. For the most feared and one the highest DPS class that’s just a total shame there. I have a lvl 13 noon Warlock that I plan to level someday. The fun part for me would ne to actually level him up to 70 learning all the abilities over time and learning how to use them as well as learning how to be Warlock.

    Whats even more amazing is that he was in a Heroic with you all. Before patch 2.3 you kinda wondered if someone on a bought account would make it that far to revered for the key to Heroics and still haven’t figured out how to play. Under current system no telling what you will see. Reminds me of the Hunter I had in Heroic SV with lvl 60 gear on with nothing enchanted and what gem gear he had was totally without gems.

    I can’t imagine buying my lvl 70 Protec Paladin on Ebay, just no way. The fun is not at 70. It was learning how to play and use my abilities leveling up and knowing what I could do in various situations. For Heroics you just about have to have a page to the Armory pulled up to inspect everyone gear and talent as I guess you never know just who you will find. Hopefully not another Warlock or player like that.

  • Strathbor of Garona

    Really the only thing that was posted on the “KINGS of the Night” forums was this:
    Have you ever grouped with someone who made you wonder if people really spend tons of real world money to buy toons? It seems that some people do.

    with a link to your blog, congratz on being famous :)

    BTW we are now Ter Novo, banner to be changed soon.

  • Nibuca

    Woot! I’m famous! My ego is now sufficiently stroked ;)