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Beige.. I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige

wow_warlock_tier_7_by_rhino848
I remember the first time I noticed a warlock.

I was wandering around in Ironforge as a level forty-something Draenei Paladin. While running from the auction house to the mailbox I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I stopped short and even exclaimed out loud. My fiancée, who was sitting behind me, turned around and asked me what was wrong.

Me: Did you see that?
Him: See what?
Me: That person in the red, and orange {pointing at the screen} had wings. That was so cool.
Him: Oh, that’s a warlock.

I was fixated. I was in love. I think I followed that warlock all around Ironforge until they took a flight path. I kept hoping I’d see those wings again.

Eventually, after my Paladin hit 70 and healing made my eyes bleed and fall out of my head, I decided I needed to level an alt.. and I thought back to those wings.

My guild is Alliance and I like them so I had to stay with that.. which meant that I could be either human or a gnome. I really wish I could play humans.. but.. well.. they jump funny. No, next time you’re in game, log into a human female and hit the jump button. Notice how they magically levitate a couple feet off the ground.. and then, when they reach the -apex- of the jump they suddenly curl their legs up under them. It’s eerie.. it’s unnatural. It bugs me. I couldn’t stand it. So I leveled a gnome.

Eventually (read by level 50) I got used to the shorter camera angle. I even made it to 70.. and started raiding. Then I got distracted.. raiding, figuring out hit, best in slot, crit vs haste, this piece vs that piece. I got all wrapped up in it.. to the point where I never actually got the piece that gave warlocks their wings. I regret that… now more than ever.

Why you ask? Well.. have you looked at the new warlock Tier 9 pieces? I mean really looked. Not just a glance, not just a look at the stats. Look at the whole ensemble of the armor you will be inhabiting.

You don’t see it? Let me narrate. It’s like the Michelin man got attacked by the Easter Bunny while trying to channel the fashion sense of a transformer. It’s blue and -beige- and faintly glows like a frost spell. Really? REALLY?!? Where is my fire? My curl of shadow and chaos? Where is the subtle flicker of demony essence flitting around my feet? Where is the lingering scent of evil and death? Where are my wings? /wail

I don’t think Blizz did it on purpose.. or at least not from a hateful place. Despite all the QQ I actually don’t think Blizz hates Warlocks. I think they were just striving for equality across the classes. I think they intended that I should coo and ahh over how match-y match-y the pieces are. Um.. yeah.

It’s bad enough I have to share regular gear drops with mages and priests..but now I have to have a Tier set that looks like them too?? Just like them.. except that -I- am the one in BEIGE? I can only hope that the tier pieces aren’t best in slot… and that the pieces that -are- aren’t quite as.. beige.

**5 Internet to anyone who knows the title reference :D

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